Friday, December 31, 2010
The end of all things

Starts with all things.

The end of 2010.
Great strides.
Great strides indeed.

Many lost
Many gained.

But never will I look back,
And grieve for any moment untouched.
Because being the immortal man
Means letting go.
Being unmoved by specifics.

But hey,
Look back,
Be happy because events happened.
Be happy.
Be satisfied.
Be grateful.
Be graceful.

The year taught me alot.
I'm a person of character now.
I'm a joymonger.
I live my life.
And the coming years will
Smile at my joy.

To which I will finally rest,
After finally found my calling.

2011 will be another joyous occasion.
A year to celebrate self joy and
Personal triumph.
For nothing stands in the way of an
Immortal man.

The immortal man that I am.

Thanks 2010.
You taught me well.

♥/LiterallyTom/1:57 AM

Monday, December 20, 2010
Have

Shd blog on 2010 conclusion soon.

♥/LiterallyTom/10:13 PM

Sunday, December 12, 2010
Phatagin?

Mst is over.
Which means no more mst for
the rest of my life.

Oh poly life,
I don't want you to end!

Well anw,
It's holidays now.
And I've just cut my hair Wooooooooo!

I feel quite happy after cutting lol.

Was super grinning the whole time.
I'm contented.

Shall post more entries here
since I've got lots of time in my hands!
Yay

♥/LiterallyTom/3:46 PM

Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Think. The villain in me.

Had a bad experience last Saturday.
They just canceled PTP's set because
There wasn't anymore time.

Bleah.

Wasted my time.

But well,
Won't go crazy from that.
Had enough of getting crazy.
Shall be the bigger, better man.
Since I'm the immortal man.

Met maybellyn that day.
After like.... 2 years
Or and arshanti too!
Anw,
We talked about jimmy's relationship
thingy.
Well may said some things that really made me thought about what I've been doing.
It's all really personal, really.

Leading people on.
Trusting one another.
Receiving love.
Being oblivious.

I'll never feel comfortable anymore.

But optimistic I shall stay.
Maybe I've been trying too hard.
Then maybe I should wait for it to come to me.
Because chasing isn't really the best way to approach this.

I should change.
I should find closure to this.

Because I don't want to be the villain.
And they are all very nice personalities.

And because I'm tired.

I'm tired of being the sad disgrace.
I'm tired of being in the shadow of the limelight.
I'm tired of being in the chase.
I'm tired of being the failure.

I'm tired of being the wolf in sheep's clothing.

I shall sit on the branch.
Where the tree grows from the top of the hill.
Where my vision towers the rest.
And I'll rest.
Finally rest.
Finally find my closure.

Till then,
Be myself.
Because sunshine thrives.

♥/LiterallyTom/2:46 AM

Friday, December 3, 2010

I should be studying.

♥/LiterallyTom/6:05 PM

Tuesday, November 23, 2010
You are the worry

Im so full of love and hate right now.

I hate how you call yourself a musician.


I love how I could stay optimistic and hopeful.



My love will be my director.


♥/LiterallyTom/11:35 PM

Sunday, November 21, 2010
Entity.

I've always believed that there is a higher being that controls the nature of the universe.

And that there is reason for every detail of events that happen.

And that has led me to view the world in another perspective.
Which leads me then,
To the war between good and evil.
The REAL war.

The war that only believers will ever realize.
A war that has been happening for centuries but generations have victoriously hide it from mainstream thoughts.

Between good and evil.

No, it's not some fairytale or that I've finally bust my brain.
Only believers can see it.

Knowing that,
I come to notice death or accident trends that the world is directing.

Notably of course,
SG's recent trend of slashing teens.
Coincidental or on purpose?

What about before that, where we saw airplane crashes. I watched the news recently, it featured 3 crashes.

Trend of uprooted trees.

Cars that topple over.

Missing children assumed to be drowned.

Trends.


I believe there is something happening in this world that is hidden to us.

Terrorists.

How could Muslims, who believes strongly in peace do such destruction?
Is there another story to it that the public aren't supposed to knw?

Is there a strong concept of complicated conspiracies that is directing the nature of the events happening in this world?

Is something pushing these misled Muslims (if they were misled in the first place) to do such a destruction?
Because I do not believe that anyone at all would have such despicable thought that killing innocents will gain a successful objective.

I believe a higher being, good or evil is controlling the world.
And that we are all under the influence of
the 'master plan'.

Something is happening.
Something big is about to happen.

Let's just open our eyes.


For we are all energy
We feel the universe.

♥/LiterallyTom/2:35 PM

Thursday, November 4, 2010
Might.

In sch.
Well Halloween horrors is over now.
Shall blog about that next time.

Post-event evaluation.

Tedious
I can't actually be bothered much about
writing in the fyp log book.
Report is tedious, time consuming and takes the life out of me.

But whatever.
I'm so gonna get an A for this.
I DON'T CARE.
I want my A!

Anw,
It's debriefing at night safari today.
With the night safari corporate staff.
Night safariiii again.
Wooooo.

ANYWAY
An hour late for class today.
My goodness 8am class is really getting to me.
I can never be on time anymore!

Need to listen to lecture.
Argh k bai.

♥/LiterallyTom/9:22 AM

Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monster. Your own product.

Just because we understand,
doesn't mean we tolerate.



Just because.

Just because.






Sincerity accounts for nothing in this world.
Yet we still try to communicate.

Why.

♥/LiterallyTom/1:48 AM

Thursday, October 7, 2010
Envy, when hello greets.

Last Tuesday Jimmy and I decided
impulsively, to walk from Bukit Batok to Pasir Ris Park/Beach.

The whole journey was like watching a
movie unfold.
excitement, witty, emotional, hilarious

and mostly,
Adventure.


And it really challenged
our friendship.
but I'm really glad we made it out alive and well.
(alive wasnt really a necessary word)

Vids and pics to be uploaded soon.
well not here,
probably in Facebook.

That aside,
I wanted to discuss something which my friend
actually complain about one of our good friend.
he said something like this,

"He doesn't know the meaning of life"

which i just let it slide because i wasnt reading too much into it.
Until now.

The meaning of life?

I mean, life in its literal meaning itself, brings about endless
sub-categories of wonder which in turn,
spawns its own endless list of questions.

Life is seen in almost 360 degrees of difference
in every individual eyes.
The thoughts about life
and the questions asked
differs between a priest and a scientist.
A student and a teacher.
A mother and her son.
A couple.
even bestfriends.

and that tells me,
the meaning of life shouldn't be defined in a phrase or equation.
its vastness is to be marveled at rather than to be solved.

No one should be able to solve THE question.
"What is life?"

Life is to be understood.
not solved.

Life should be intangibly felt.
It should be felt with our hearts.
It should be felt with the warmth
of a sunny morning when we
naturally wake up, not worrying
that the routines of the architectural
system of the world rests upon our shoulders.

Life should stay a mystery.
an enchanting mystery with
a permanent history.

♥/LiterallyTom/4:19 AM

Saturday, September 25, 2010
All the more should we really care about nothing,

I think just one miraculous incision could change everything.

I've been extremely busy with night safari these few weeks/days
lost count of how many times I've been there.

though its alot of fun.
even better the days spent with awesome people.
the last rehearsal I became Jiangshi.
had alot of different comments from people really.

all of them really positive!

and gonna become Jiangshi again later for walkabout.
look out Orchard Road, here comes Tom. =D

I do realise now that I'm quite thick-skinned
whenever I set my mind to it.
Though its very much still situational.
I'm quite thankful I'm the person I am.

And I'm very proud to be a person of character.
A person that sees the world the way I want to see it.
I think that's what lacking in this world.
or maybe it's just me.
Character.
I'd want my children next time to grow up
and become a person with character.

someone that looks at things differently,
someone that is not afraid to challenge ideas
but at the same time respects limitations.
someone that lives in his own philosophies,
someone that thrives in thoughts about possibilities,
someone that questions himself,
someone that is not bounded by the influences
his vast social connections directs,
someone with character.

because people are getting boring.

I like impulsive people.
They make me question the world I've built myself in.

Most people from my school or even my cousins see me as
someone weird, someone who thrives in difference.
Someone that radiates energy and activity.
A person cycling through motions.
over and over again.

I'm a slow paced person.
I like to hear myself think.
I like to spend my time in a place with low activity.
I prefer walking vast distances by myself,
observing whatever walks past me.

how every second, fate wanted
those souls to give themselves
a second just to give a quick glance
to my side.
how every moment of walking,
the world suggests to me someone
I don't know.
Why?
Why do we all walk past the person we see in the street?
Why must it be that specific person?
Is there a deeper, hidden reason to why that specific person
walked past me?

I want to know the deeper meaning of life.
This obsession with thoughts makes me who I am.
I dont know why I want to make everything
more confusing and difficult than they already are.


just that sometimes,
I need to redeem myself.
I have a constant greed to feel alive.
Alive in my own way.

I want to feel hope.
If hope was tangible,
I want to feel how it feels on my skin.

but really, I just want to know the world.
I want to understand the world.

soon.

♥/LiterallyTom/3:10 AM

Monday, September 13, 2010

hello!

did everyone had a good weekend?


I sure did =D

♥/LiterallyTom/2:08 AM

Monday, September 6, 2010
Late Night Beliefs

I cant get to sleep so I decided not too.
I'll just sleep tomorrow....
I mean, today. since its already 4.18am.

Hence I'll just post a late entry to this massively
taken for granted blog.

Well lately I've been sleeping at 5am+ and waking up
at like 5-6pm.
totally change my whole freaking lifestyle.
nocturnal, nocturnal


So i guess I should maybe update on what's
been happening in my life?
haha its not like anyone's reading this anyway.
and that notion kinda seem very overused and cliche huh?

like everyone keeps saying their blogs are never read.

well whatever.
I'm writing this with The Fire Fight's Train Song
accompanying my ears.
miss them man.
miss singing that song alongside old friends.
haiz!

Anyway,
its test & exam week now.
The YOG weeks are way overdue
but I'm gonna talk about it abit though =D

ermm... hmm....
I kinda miss that 'festive' spirit
where twitter and fb are spammed
with all kinds of YOG comments and pictures.
yeah, I know I said YOG wasn't much of anything.
But I think I have to admit,
I did actually wanted to be a part of it
like one way or another.

well its too late now so whatever.
haha.
thats just typical me.
I'd say something that implies me being
so totally nonchalant about something
but my heart says I wanted to be
part of that something.
like the Harry Potter movies.
hahahhahaha

lame i know.
but I kinda always wanted to be apart of
that movie series =D
and I keep telling my good friend I'm not interested
in Harry Potter and all. hahhaha.
haiz tom so pathetic.

well that YOG holz was burned
by FYP activites.
going back to Night Safari for
a number of times.
I've completely forgotten how many times
I've been to night safari now. bleahs.
And the Scare Actors Camp was quite fun too!
met new people, with really annoying personalities.
hahahaha kidding,
they are awesome people.
some very handsome looking guys!
some very pretty looking girls!

and had awesome laughs!
really have to admit though,
they are all make very very great scare actors
Am really thankful to have chosen such
good actors.


oh and the video!
thank god the stressful part of it is over.
coordinating the client, 8 scare actors, jehmie (boss),
the video team and makeup artists at
one time is nuts.
but is sooooooo worth it.
hmmmmm so thats how producers and directors feel.
so pressured and stressful.
and they manage like hundreds of people!

I guess comparing to event managers and
any other coordinating jobs,
mine is like nothing luhhhh!
so I shouldn't complain! =D

and thanks so much ELIZABETH
for being such a nice helpful girl.

you awesome.


its september now,
so its gonna start in a month.
and end in 2 months.

i just cant wait.


oh and PTP is playing for Antagonist A.D. this tuesday!
@Home Club!

so please be there is you're free yes!
We'll be playing alongside very very awesome bands
like Abolition A.D., StraightForward, Her Silent Wish And Ruins!

I think this is where I should end.
Hmmm... now to look for something else to do till morning.
or until its time to go jamming.

♥/LiterallyTom/4:17 AM

Monday, August 30, 2010
Hearts

my ribs hurt when i lie down sometimes.

feels like the muscle or some major vein shifts.




and the splitting headache from blood gushing to my
head aftr standing up gets worse every time.
I'm afraid to get up whenever I lie down now.


YAY!

♥/LiterallyTom/4:13 AM

Friday, August 27, 2010
Control

How often do we speak in our own voices?
How often do we live in our own suit of personality?
How often do we walk in our own, uninterrupted path?



I have always been thinking,
do I live in my own set of reality,
or am I confined in my my own reality?

Am I my own man?

Do I live as a man, full of hope and prosper
as time rolls in,
or do I live as what time gives me?

who dictates?
man or time?



I've always wondered about what I don't do.
the supposedly 'bad' things which my tradition
and upbringing categorises them as.

drinking, smoking, tattooing, even sex.


yes, I'm obliged to say they are bad
mainly because of how I was brought up as a person,
and how these activities were directed as, ever
since I was small.

And I have to say,
I'm really quite staunch in areas of religion and tradition
compared to the people I've ever met.
and no, I'm not saying I'm a good person because of that.


because in this modern world,
where ideas and philosophy transcends
religion and tradition,
a good person is reflected on his main personality and contribution,
based on his ideas.
not how deeply involved he is in his religion and tradition.

and also,
his ideas have to be, well, good.
just like his personality.

good personality being?
kind, gentle, understanding and all that blabberish attributes.


but really, how can a person decides good personality?
and frankly, in the first place, how can a person decides
what a good person should be like?

oh well, I digress.


I don't drink, or smoke, or get inked, or have different sex
partners for that matter.
and the thing is, I don't do it primarily because I can't.
it's just not the person I was brought up as.

so does that mean I'm forever confined
as what my upbringing, tradition and religion
dictates me?

I wonder.


but what if we isolate these characteristics.....
take out the factors that prevents me from being what
I'm not.
If I don't have religion
If I wasn't such a person of culture and refined morals.
If I was brought up differently

If I view these 'negative' activities as normal and routinely



Would I still not do it?
or would I slide into conformity and
live a life of suchness?

but why do I say that I'd be conforming?


If I supposedly view these activities in a negative light,
why would I be conforming?
are these activities that rampant?
are these activities so regular and typical that everyone inside my
100m circumference are doing it?

if not, then why is it bad?

but I cant label good and bad from my own individualistic mind.
because well, its individualistic.
and I'd be looking from my own point of view.

it'd be one-sided right?

hence, its all a vicious cycle!
because like what I've mentioned,
"and frankly, in the first place, how can a person decides
what a good person should be like?"
it occurs and applies in labeling whether an activity
is good or bad.

one shouldn't be quick to be judging good or bad an activity is.

because morals,
in this 21st century, has changed.

morals, are different with the changing of times.
with the ease of availability of ideas and philosophy.


but back to my own personal thoughts about my actions,
if we isolate those characteristics.....

will I still be the person I am today?
living a life pure,
untouched by these 'negative' activities

honestly,
as of right now,
I'd say I'm obliged not to be involved with the mentioned activities.
obliged.

I think I do know that my mind wanders freely around those activities.
and I am quite sure that religion, tradition and upbringing is a wall
that keeps me in place.
the roots that keep me grounded.


so where do I really stand in all of these thoughts?



what kind of person am I,
in the midst of all these?


and eventually,
can man really shape their future?
or is the future ordained by fate and destiny?

♥/LiterallyTom/2:57 AM

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Missed B-Quartet.
Again.
bleah.

♥/LiterallyTom/10:28 PM

Sunday, August 15, 2010

So what?


I'm Awesome.

♥/LiterallyTom/3:27 AM

LIKE.



I'm just pretending to be happy aren't I?



But I'm happy!






no?





mirrors dont actually tell us what we need to know.

♥/LiterallyTom/3:15 AM

Thursday, August 12, 2010

my breast is growing.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha

but seriously.

♥/LiterallyTom/1:39 AM

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I drew more stuffs on my wall!
it looks naise now.

Shall post a pic soon.

when it's nicer!



OH OH OH!
My asos stuff are here!

♥/LiterallyTom/3:45 PM

soft voice that whispers to me
soft voice that lingers in my thoughts

your presence used to make sense.
but since then it only brought pain and sorrow.

how did such beautiful, image of perfection flipped its
nature to its very core?

April, May, June, July, August.

how did we come to this?

no, how did I come to this.



why do I insist on clinging onto something
that will exist to be a misrepresentation of reality?

a fairytale, fiction.
fiction, gathered only by minds that longed to feel
alive.

alive from being able to share the spaces we reserved as 'private'
a special space we call our own,
where our calm self exist, beyond the exterior representation
of ourselves.

representation which we put forth a set of notable lies.
but lies, which we all produce to assure ourselves that we belong.
we belong.



So what if I'm weak?
Honesty brings me closer to my reality.
and my reality is where I shall seek
shelter.
the reality where you stand with me.

and this reality shall stay immortal.
it shall be definite and unchanging

not because I want to,
but because I can't change it.


because the months that continues to flow
from that day compels me to your essence.
even when your presence is merely a soft voice.

a collection of soft voices in my recollection.

because I realise I can never shake this empty feeling.

because I know a part of myself got lost when you fade away from my sight

because all of me centralised to act within your perimeter

because I cannot prognosticate from whatever you've been throwing upon me.

and because afterall, I can never let go.



because all this time,
I couldn't admit I don't love you.







because the only way,
is for me to abandon all ships.

♥/LiterallyTom/2:14 AM

Tuesday, August 3, 2010
lika sumbooodie!

Omg i realised i really really miss Gee.

and SNSD's earlier stuffs.






bleah.

♥/LiterallyTom/9:28 PM

Monday, August 2, 2010
HUH

fuck all the idol girl groups.



Koyote's Shinji is the best.







hvnt been listening to KPOP actually.
hahahhaa.
but shinji so cute.


ok im out.




♥/LiterallyTom/5:55 PM

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

So flammeth Trishna, lust and thirst of things.

Eager, ye cleave to shadows, dote on dreams;
A false self in the midst ye plant, and make
A World around which seems;
Blind to the height beyond;
deaf to the sound

Of sweet airs breathed from afar past Indra's sky;

Dumb to the summons of the true life kept
For him who false puts by,

So grow the strifes and lusts which make earth's war,
So grieve poor cheated hearts and flow salt tears;
So wax the passions, envies, angers, hates;
So years chase blood-stained years

With wild red feet.

♥/LiterallyTom/12:33 AM

Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Where the routes crosses

Jimmy's Raybands are (Y)

ok well I was gonna audition for Tacit Aria
by sending them a demo of myself.

BUT.

bleah. I kinda delayed it.
because I suck.
and now I've got a bad sore throat.
but well that sore throat was short-lived


But then, I lost my voice.

and that was a bitch.
Well its recovering but hard for me to sing now.
BLEAH. shit man.


That aside,
life's picking these few weeks.
Been keepin myself busy!
which is so awesome.
and though fyp is a bitch,


auditions canceled out all the shit
and manage to put in sooo much good times.
I have to admit,
I'm actually enjoying FYP.

THANKS ALOT TO MY 14 FYPMATES.
hahahahahahaha.
while others only have 2 others to work with,
we have 14.

we are like a FYP family.
awesome people.

and to the 80++ people we are gonna be working with,
welcome aboard!


And just had the first proper jamming with new band!
hahahahaaha
EMAROSA & DANCE GAVIN DANCE.

like how crazy shit is that.

Anw, PTP is taking a break to focus on writing!
things are really really really picking up for the band.
we are playing awesome shows after awesome shows.
Meeting awesome awesome people.

and NP gig was a blast.

super massively creative circlepit is sick.



My mom just told me
"If you become famous one day, remember to treat everyone as equals"

hahaha
sure I would!
i wont be an asshole.


anw, theres alot of projects to complete.
but well,
take it slow.
slowly but surely!


HAPPY TOM =D
HAPPY TOM =D








"Cheebai LEET"



HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA

♥/LiterallyTom/12:38 AM