Saturday, October 25, 2008
rampage. a curse. i try harder.

she kept looking at me while i was waiting for the mrt.
why cant she look else where?

so i took a photo of her of put it in my blog to make fun of her.



























































i told her to look away but she didnt listen.
have a taste of this!





2nd time i was ditch without even knowing.
pathetic for thinking its gonna work out again.


tmr is never gonna be a better day.


never trust a blind mouse.




i said it was pathetic.
but i knew it wasnt as true as how i pictured it in the exterior.
its a typical me.
faking a reality.
drawn to its brighter side.
expecting the other side.

an attribute of being a fake
keeps a hunger for more.
and more.
and more.
and more.
likewise, a normal being.


i feel satisfied.
yet unconfident.
very unconfident.

an offer to relax.
is never a simple question.
or an answer.

but i know i know
im gone.
you're gone.
i wanted more.
more of the archives.

understand the true moment.
the short term moment.
its a breaking truth.


tmr's not a better day.
i seek to have my routine changed.
but human nature controls our wits.
sometimes.
not allowing flexibility.

standardisation.
its legal right?



how i long to be swept.
with the wind to accompany in my endeavours.
but the weeks have changed.
the wind's gone.
jus like the wind always did.

im at the edge.
falling off.
falling off.
falling on lush greens.
but it wont help.
it never helped.
it runs deeper.


and deeper.

being canny helps.
but it matters not.
valiant.
but still it matters not.

pretentious.
its sticks a tape over my mouth.
actually it doesnt.
i find myself blind.
my heart controls my brain.
i lie.


i kept it simple.
uncaring.
but hopeful.
try to find sense.
more sense.
trying to be practical.
a last chance.
a last call to modern life.
its jus me and an undying faith.
trying.
reaching.
trying to find a better understanding.
reaching to the edge of typical existence.
voices makes the vaguest sound.
these voices make the slightest vague sound.

it never will reach the open end of the tunnel.
it goes further.
creating a non-existence material that tortures deep.
it lenghtens the journey.



and the burning faith that keeps me alive is a face.
a face drawn to the past, never coming back.
its pulls me into an abyss.
getting further.
and further.
fast.



but the face laughs.
laughs at the pathetic little being that i am.
or becoming.
its never easy.
accepting a virtual-like reality.
but im forced by the burning faith of the face.
it left.
mouth open - wide.


its existence angers me.
its death saddens me.
its a trap.
a vicious cycle at that.



its eyes constantly reminds.
nostalgia.
its never helping.
its never helping.
but the burning faith keeps me alive.


alive.
in search to find a better day.




tmr looks bleak.

























love me. steal me away.

no matter how hard i try,
i can never get close to ppl.
which does explain the super lots of "hi" i get in sch
but never a "hey Tom! lets go out."




its so hard to meet ppl who wants to create a deep friendship.








they seem to cease from existence.


its either that,
or youths these days hv no initiative.

however it may seem,

i wanna tell u everything.
everything that didnt hv the chance to.
i wanna tell u about the past.
i wanna tell u about the present.
i dun want to tell u about the future.

it holds more grief.





so if only we could swallow our pride.
jus for a few moments in our lives.


and ultimately face the facts.

I wanna sit here again. with the best person i ever sat with. can i ever do anything about anything?

anything's great.

answer yourself.
its never virtual.
its never redundant.
its not a ritual
its not an evidence

its jus a common practice of typical procedures.

a nutcracker.
a rocking chair.
a hammer in chains.
a stain.

its true its true.

u will find me jus like how i've been dying to reach you.

♥/LiterallyTom/10:14 PM