Friday, April 16, 2010
somewhere, somehow

Sitting, looking from the sidelines hurts so badly.



for such a long time,
I've always seen blogs as not just another social networking tool,
but also a medium to spread language art
through extensive, exaggerated use of emotions.

While I'm the only one that actually put sense into the words
recklessly typed into this everchanging
(less so, in the years that came though)
site, others find a mutual vacant idea slapped across each posts.

and my hypothesis come across as being substantially sound, justified by own posts.
THAT hypothesis being people may think I'm just another person that does not
create a level of interest in blogging.

well, being the undisputed master of this loathesome blog,
evidently, I'm really quite nonchalant to any kind of claims,

but thats really not the point right now.


And really, there isn't any definite agenda to begin with
And maybe ths could evenbe the first post in such a long time that actually
made sense language-wise from the viewpoint of a reader.

BUT I DIGRESSED. (I know i deviate alot)
Well whatever posts that anyone may have read in this blog that
just doesn't compute, it is probably my mind that was talking,
trying to save itself before it spirals into a crescendo of some sorts
that may lead to a chance of insanity.

And really, this body of mine saw that route and it wasn't at all pretty.
Took awhile before I began to de-zombify. dread it.

somehow my mind could transpose all the pictures, lines, blurry words and vague events happening in my mind into definite, audible words.
I have issues with myself that only known people could comprehend.

My mind blanked out after "comprehend" and i spaced for almost an hour.

MOVING ON

After a fashion, though, my mind could always amplify
my thoughts & emotion no matter how small it may be.

And that amplification ends up in the blog.
Sitting pretty.

I spaced again after "pretty"


These few days have been bittersweet.
I saw myself through my own disappearance.
My retreat into my thoughts proved to be a challenging one

especially with the things happening around me.
Somehow i realised how messed up parents can be.
And how self-sacrificing they can be.

I guess in the end, everyone needs help.
No matter how ugly a situation tends to evolve into,
theres always that minute detail that was never tapped on
or was never even came across as sound, practical, sane.

Just remember that a little but of soul-searching always help.
DON'T DWELL ON NEGATIVITY.

im not sure why I'm actually ranting on all that.
But I guess it's an indication of rememberance,
a constant reminder to myself.


"For all the ties that binds us,
A dream so honest,
An intention so pure,
Secrets, secrets,
This is where you're kept"


"For all these feelings that makes us...... They wont be ignored."




And yet, still, I keep trying to converse.

♥/LiterallyTom/10:39 PM