Monday, August 30, 2010
Hearts

my ribs hurt when i lie down sometimes.

feels like the muscle or some major vein shifts.




and the splitting headache from blood gushing to my
head aftr standing up gets worse every time.
I'm afraid to get up whenever I lie down now.


YAY!

♥/LiterallyTom/4:13 AM

Friday, August 27, 2010
Control

How often do we speak in our own voices?
How often do we live in our own suit of personality?
How often do we walk in our own, uninterrupted path?



I have always been thinking,
do I live in my own set of reality,
or am I confined in my my own reality?

Am I my own man?

Do I live as a man, full of hope and prosper
as time rolls in,
or do I live as what time gives me?

who dictates?
man or time?



I've always wondered about what I don't do.
the supposedly 'bad' things which my tradition
and upbringing categorises them as.

drinking, smoking, tattooing, even sex.


yes, I'm obliged to say they are bad
mainly because of how I was brought up as a person,
and how these activities were directed as, ever
since I was small.

And I have to say,
I'm really quite staunch in areas of religion and tradition
compared to the people I've ever met.
and no, I'm not saying I'm a good person because of that.


because in this modern world,
where ideas and philosophy transcends
religion and tradition,
a good person is reflected on his main personality and contribution,
based on his ideas.
not how deeply involved he is in his religion and tradition.

and also,
his ideas have to be, well, good.
just like his personality.

good personality being?
kind, gentle, understanding and all that blabberish attributes.


but really, how can a person decides good personality?
and frankly, in the first place, how can a person decides
what a good person should be like?

oh well, I digress.


I don't drink, or smoke, or get inked, or have different sex
partners for that matter.
and the thing is, I don't do it primarily because I can't.
it's just not the person I was brought up as.

so does that mean I'm forever confined
as what my upbringing, tradition and religion
dictates me?

I wonder.


but what if we isolate these characteristics.....
take out the factors that prevents me from being what
I'm not.
If I don't have religion
If I wasn't such a person of culture and refined morals.
If I was brought up differently

If I view these 'negative' activities as normal and routinely



Would I still not do it?
or would I slide into conformity and
live a life of suchness?

but why do I say that I'd be conforming?


If I supposedly view these activities in a negative light,
why would I be conforming?
are these activities that rampant?
are these activities so regular and typical that everyone inside my
100m circumference are doing it?

if not, then why is it bad?

but I cant label good and bad from my own individualistic mind.
because well, its individualistic.
and I'd be looking from my own point of view.

it'd be one-sided right?

hence, its all a vicious cycle!
because like what I've mentioned,
"and frankly, in the first place, how can a person decides
what a good person should be like?"
it occurs and applies in labeling whether an activity
is good or bad.

one shouldn't be quick to be judging good or bad an activity is.

because morals,
in this 21st century, has changed.

morals, are different with the changing of times.
with the ease of availability of ideas and philosophy.


but back to my own personal thoughts about my actions,
if we isolate those characteristics.....

will I still be the person I am today?
living a life pure,
untouched by these 'negative' activities

honestly,
as of right now,
I'd say I'm obliged not to be involved with the mentioned activities.
obliged.

I think I do know that my mind wanders freely around those activities.
and I am quite sure that religion, tradition and upbringing is a wall
that keeps me in place.
the roots that keep me grounded.


so where do I really stand in all of these thoughts?



what kind of person am I,
in the midst of all these?


and eventually,
can man really shape their future?
or is the future ordained by fate and destiny?

♥/LiterallyTom/2:57 AM

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Missed B-Quartet.
Again.
bleah.

♥/LiterallyTom/10:28 PM

Sunday, August 15, 2010

So what?


I'm Awesome.

♥/LiterallyTom/3:27 AM

LIKE.



I'm just pretending to be happy aren't I?



But I'm happy!






no?





mirrors dont actually tell us what we need to know.

♥/LiterallyTom/3:15 AM

Thursday, August 12, 2010

my breast is growing.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha

but seriously.

♥/LiterallyTom/1:39 AM

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I drew more stuffs on my wall!
it looks naise now.

Shall post a pic soon.

when it's nicer!



OH OH OH!
My asos stuff are here!

♥/LiterallyTom/3:45 PM

soft voice that whispers to me
soft voice that lingers in my thoughts

your presence used to make sense.
but since then it only brought pain and sorrow.

how did such beautiful, image of perfection flipped its
nature to its very core?

April, May, June, July, August.

how did we come to this?

no, how did I come to this.



why do I insist on clinging onto something
that will exist to be a misrepresentation of reality?

a fairytale, fiction.
fiction, gathered only by minds that longed to feel
alive.

alive from being able to share the spaces we reserved as 'private'
a special space we call our own,
where our calm self exist, beyond the exterior representation
of ourselves.

representation which we put forth a set of notable lies.
but lies, which we all produce to assure ourselves that we belong.
we belong.



So what if I'm weak?
Honesty brings me closer to my reality.
and my reality is where I shall seek
shelter.
the reality where you stand with me.

and this reality shall stay immortal.
it shall be definite and unchanging

not because I want to,
but because I can't change it.


because the months that continues to flow
from that day compels me to your essence.
even when your presence is merely a soft voice.

a collection of soft voices in my recollection.

because I realise I can never shake this empty feeling.

because I know a part of myself got lost when you fade away from my sight

because all of me centralised to act within your perimeter

because I cannot prognosticate from whatever you've been throwing upon me.

and because afterall, I can never let go.



because all this time,
I couldn't admit I don't love you.







because the only way,
is for me to abandon all ships.

♥/LiterallyTom/2:14 AM

Tuesday, August 3, 2010
lika sumbooodie!

Omg i realised i really really miss Gee.

and SNSD's earlier stuffs.






bleah.

♥/LiterallyTom/9:28 PM

Monday, August 2, 2010
HUH

fuck all the idol girl groups.



Koyote's Shinji is the best.







hvnt been listening to KPOP actually.
hahahhaa.
but shinji so cute.


ok im out.




♥/LiterallyTom/5:55 PM